Rule #21: From the Employee Handbook

If something goes wrong... PANIC! What is the point of keeping your composure when the compost has already hit the fan, covering you from head to toe in decaying shit?

Rule #11: From the Employee Handbook

If it's not broke, by all means try to fix it. What could possibly go wrong? If it is broke, well... fuck it, I retire in less than two years.

It's called "E-mail" not "Twitter"

Thanks again for the play-by-play on every little detail of your charities. Honestly, I really do care.